Work intimacy is measured by how well we work together as a couple on household projects, parenting, shopping, planning for the future, etc., and by how we share what’s going on in our jobs and how we feel about it.
If we work in a stressful job, or if our boss has a bad style of leadership, or if we’re not earning enough money, we need to vent about it. Complaining about it feels good, although without a lasting benefit. To build intimacy with our beloved — and to teach the right lesson to our children — we must be free to vent but also balance it with hope, strategies of problem-solving, turning to God for help, and the wisdom of faith.
To build intimacy during household chores, we have to discover, by openly communicating, who’s stronger at which tasks (or who enjoys them more). We have to disclose our expectations and clarify misconceptions (“Oh, you think I don’t like to cook dinner after a long, tiring day? Well, in fact, I enjoy cooking so much that I miss having the time for it.”) We have to give our beloved the opportunity to make free-will sacrifices (“Hon, I know you don’t like shopping with me at the hardware store, but I would enjoy your company; let’s go out on a lunch date before reaching the store. But it’s up to you. I love you.”)
Work intimacy reminds me of a hand in a glove. If we work as a team, when one finger moves, so does the part of the glove that covers it.
- How do I feel about my beloved’s partnership in projects that need to get done?
- When I think my beloved’s work on a task or project or employment is unsatisfactory, how do I handle it? Does my sweetheart feel my support or feel belittled?
Strengthen your relationship:
Name a recent project or task that you enjoyed working on together. Describe what you liked about the experience — and why. Then pray together, asking the Holy Spirit to help you grow stronger in the enjoyment of work intimacy.
This is the second in an 8-part series on the intimacies that are so important for a good and lasting marriage.
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© 2018 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries