What do we feel like doing when our beloved is uncooperative, demanding, irritable, or argumentative? When companionship is lost in the pain of the disagreement? Hug, right? Well, how about a verbal punch in the nose? Yeah, that’s more accurate. Our instinct is to defend ourselves and fight back. But scripture (Romans 12:17-21) says:
Do not repay anyone evil for evil; be concerned for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, on your part, live at peace with all. Beloved, do not look for revenge … for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Rather, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.” Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.
An “enemy” is anyone who opposes our will. It’s temporary, but at the moment, it’s all that seems to matter.
Many years ago, I put God’s Word to the test. I can’t remember what Ralph and I were arguing about, but what we both remember is that when he went off in a huff, I went to the kitchen and cooked his favorite sandwich. When I presented it to him at his desk, he looked up at me in amazement and his anger dissipated into a smile. I “won” the argument by not trying to win. I won his heart back. I won renewed peace between us. And the problem that started the argument? Now we could discuss it peacefully.
When we treat our beloved in a spirit of opposition, we try to win the argument through coercion. In his apostolic exhortation The Joy of Love, Pope Francis calls this “domination” that comes from sin. Watch this short video from the Good News Ministries course on The Joy of Love to learn how to turn domination into companionship and joy.
- How easily do I gain control over my own anger and turn it into a spirit of serving my sweetheart?
- What can I do to remember to stop anger from controlling my responses to my sweetheart so that I can more easily switch to a spirit of ministering to him/her?
Strengthen your relationship:
After watching the video, what is your take-away? Discuss this, then pray, asking the Holy Spirit to help you both to become better at serving one another during those times when you least feel like serving.
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© 2016 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries