Sexual intimacy is more than what the world tells us

sexual intimacySexual intimacy is a gift from God. It is a gift that we give to our beloved directly from God — which is why it is most fulfilling when kept sacred, springing from the three-way union (two sweethearts plus God) of the Sacrament of Marriage.

Because the world does not see it this way, we have to educate ourselves about God’s plan for marriage. Otherwise, we miss out on the blessings of God’s design for a very deep and beautiful intimacy with our beloved.

In God’s design, sexual intimacy is the complete abandonment of our total selves to our beloved. It is the physical expression of God’s covenant love with us, which is a mutual commitment to faithfulness and caring, now and forever. God’s covenant love is protective, nurturing, and helpful. It is also life-giving, overflowing, going beyond us as a couple, creating children and producing ministry to others.

It is the gift of “I love you so much, I give you my all, including my fertility” — which is why Natural Family Planning (NFP) is holy and why artificial birth control is a lower, shallower level of intimacy.

It is the gift of the whole self, including the intimate connectedness of our hearts and minds, who we are to each other and for each other, our wants and needs, our ideas and dreams, our questions and our wisdom.

Sexual experiences are not the cure for our longing for intimacy, as the world believes. They are the result of the intimacy of attentiveness, tenderness, respect, thoughtfulness and playfulness, living well with and for each other, resolving conflicts with mutual caring, and making each other feel special, secure, safe with each other even when one desires sex and the other does not. It’s the gift of: “Your desires and feelings matter to me.” In other words, it’s the gift of the God who cares about us deeply and intimately.

Reflection Questions:

  1. How well do I give my beloved intimacy throughout the day?
  2. What does my sweetheart do that makes me feel intimately connected to him/her?

Strengthen your relationship:
Take turns sharing this: Name one thing that is a gift of intimacy that you appreciate from the other. How does this affect your sexual intimacy? Pray together thanking God for the sacred gift of mutually giving yourselves to one another physically and completely. 

This is the final post in an 8-part series on the intimacies that are so important for a good and lasting marriage.

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© 2018 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries
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