Recently, a young man came to my house as a tech to fix something. He mentioned in conversation that he’s getting divorced. I said, “Awww, how sad.” His reply: “It’s okay. It’s an amicable divorce. We simply grew apart. It’s not worth fighting over.” He added, “I’ll always take good care of our kids, providing for them financially. It’s best that their mother have custody of them. I see them five out of seven days. Everything’s okay.”
Everything’s okay? How can he not see what’s wrong with this picture? How does he not feel sad about it? Why doesn’t he fight for the restoration of his marriage and for the unity of his family and the example this gives to his children? This is a very common scenario today. Many couples don’t see or know what’s at stake.
I wonder if he and his wife had made wedding vows and promised to stay together “until death do us part”. Who takes their vows seriously anymore? This leads to the question: How can we trust those who can promise one thing and then change their minds according to circumstances?
And: How has the high divorce rate affected our culture by decreasing people’s ability to trust promises?
And what about the children who lose the security of a loving, united home? What lesson are they learning about overcoming challenges? Or about perseverance, determination and commitment for goals? And putting the needs of others ahead of our own?
It’s all tied into a cultural unwillingness to make sacrifices. Promises are kept only when we’re willing to sacrifice our preferences and conveniences. Soldiers and police and other heroes who put their lives on the line earn our appreciation, but for some reason, this fails to translate into heroism within marriage.
And next comes the most important question: Can we change this culture? Yes, this is our calling as Christians. We have the extremely important responsibility of keeping our marriage vows, not only for the sake of our own families but also for the sake of evangelizing the culture. Every sacrifice you make, every hardship in marriage that you endure, every argument with your spouse that you work through until a happy resolution is important to all who witness your marriage. It’s an example. It’s Christ working through you to change the world.
- How much do I trust others to keep their promises? Why is that?
- How well does my beloved understand that I still take our marriage vows very seriously?
Strengthen your relationship:
Share with each other what you believe about marriage vows. How is Christ included? What are God’s promises to you regarding your relationship? Pray together, thanking Jesus for the help he provides that strengthens your resolve to keep all holy promises.
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© 2016 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries