The best gift we can give to our sweetheart is our best self. And we can only give our best self if we are working daily at becoming more fulfilled, more healed, and more Christ-like. We can be better today than we were yesterday.
This requires having a good, close relationship with Jesus, but it also requires having a good, well-balanced self-esteem. This means thinking neither too highly of ourselves (pride) nor too lowly (neediness). Many of us enter into romantic relationships hoping that our sweetheart will boost our self-esteem, and indeed it does happen, for a while, because we matter so much to him/her. We become the most important person in his/her life.
However, this is unbalanced. It becomes codependency when we rely on our spouse to make us feel good about ourselves. Yes, our spouse is called by God, the Source of Love, to lift our spirits through unconditional love, and we are called to do the same for him/her. The problem is, this only works well when our lifestyle includes self-nurturing spiritual growth and mental health.
We give our best self to our beloved when we are happy with ourselves. The key to feeling good about ourselves is to reduce stress by making good choices through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and by using the gifts and talents that God has given us, and by finding and fulfilling the purpose for which God has designed us.
By finding meaning and purpose in our daily life, we experience more joy and less stress. We realize our importance to the kingdom of God. We feel fulfilled no matter what our spouse is doing nor what his/her mood is like. We become other-centered without becoming depleted and needy. We are then a wonderful gift for our beloved!
- Beyond what my sweetheart does that makes me happy, what else brings me joy?
- What energizes my sweetheart and brings him/her joy, other than what I do to help with that?
Strengthen your relationship:
Tell each other what you see in him/her that indicates God’s purpose for the gifts and talents that he/she has. Then share how you feel when you witness your sweetheart being useful to God. Wrap up the discussion with a prayer that thanks God for the gift that you are to each other, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you grow stronger in everything that is good about both of you.
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© 2016 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries