When the argument is over, does it matter who won? When you settle a disagreement, do you both feel victorious?
When a conflict lasts for more than one conversation or more than one day, are you looking for proof that you’re right and your sweetheart is wrong?
Is winning so important that you want your beloved to be a loser?
The most valuable success to be gained from any argument is the learning it produces. What did you learn about your beloved? What did you learn about yourself? What new facts did you learn about the situation? We don’t come into the debate knowing everything, even if we know more than our sweetheart does.
The openness to learning strengthens our relationships — more than winning does.
- How do I feel when I learn something new from an argument that I’m not winning?
- How do I feel about my beloved when he/she loses an argument?
Strengthen your relationship:
Recall a recent disagreement and, without debating the issue again, explain what you learned from it that opened your understanding to something new. How does your new understanding benefit your relationship or the family? Finish with a prayer that asks the Holy Spirit to deepen that understanding and to help you become more open to learning when you have disagreements in the future.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries