We’re given many opportunities to say “yes” every day, but how does this affect our relationship with our sweetheart? Saying “no” is often necessary for the sake of a holy, well balanced life and a good marriage. One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is discernment. A strong, active friendship with the Holy Spirit is key to knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no”.
Here are a few examples of the relationship-enhancing “no”:
If you wouldn’t want someone to do it to you, don’t do it to your beloved.
If it’s a distraction from plans and goals that you and your beloved have made, pass.
If you need to hide it, reconsider.
If it benefits you but not your beloved (and the children, born or unborn or not yet conceived), reprioritize.
If your reasons for doing something are based on what’s popular or trending, that’s not enough.
If it’s triggered by an emotional reaction, wait until you’ve prayed and regained peace, and then see if you still feel motivated to do it.
If it doesn’t bond your heart to your beloved’s, find an alternative that does.
Winning an argument feels urgent, but take time to understand your beloved.
Doing churchy activities (volunteer work, ministries, religious clubs) always seems right, but they’re never as high a priority as your beloved.
Say yes when it honors your beloved, strengthens your relationship and glorifies God.
- When do I find it difficult to say “no” but probably should?
- What has my sweetheart said “no” to that makes me appreciate him/her for it?
Strengthen your relationship:
Looking again at the list above, discuss the ones that are most helpful to your relationship today. Then make a commitment to the “no” and “yes” decisions you want to make, sealing it with a prayer that asks the Holy Spirit to help you with it.
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© 2016 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries