We live in a culture where taking responsibility is feared, avoided, and rarely done. What most people miss, then, is the joy that comes from taking responsibility and making a difference.
How many couples do you know who have chosen to live with the benefits of responsibility without actually taking responsibility? The world is teeming with people like that and our entertainment media idolize them. People couple up romantically without embracing commitment. They give up their God-created urges for becoming a family, choosing to remain unmarried, childless, and independently free to leave whenever the relationship becomes less satisfying. They don’t want to be problem solvers; they prefer to be problem avoiders.
What a scary way to live! While trying to avoid what seems scary about commitment, they choose the scary scenario of losing their love partners to the inevitable loss of satisfaction!
In Christ-centered relationships, each individual cares enough to take responsibility. This heart of caring says, “What can I do to make this better?” instead of shifting the blame. We ask, “How can I serve you?” instead of seeking to control. We say, “Help me to understand how you feel” instead of trying to win the argument.
Such a lifestyle forges couples into lifelong unions — and that is very satisfying indeed. We discover the joy of getting through potentially divisive trials as couples who remain committed to each other no matter what, achieving a stronger, deeper closeness as a result.
- What do I still do to avoid responsibility?
- What does my sweetheart do that accepts responsibility?
Strengthen your relationship:
Describe to each other how you feel when your beloved accepts responsibility for a problem even when it’s not entirely his/her fault. Name an example of a recent time when this occurred. Did it make you want to cooperate in a spirit of mutual responsibility? Or did it increase your avoidance of responsibility? Why? Finish with a prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to increase in you the joy of taking responsibility.
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© 2018 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries