Warm affection gets a relationship going, but it doesn’t keep it going. And it doesn’t guarantee love.
Love is real and reliable when our sweetheart is willing to drop everything to give time and attention and help to us (when our need to is legitimate) regardless of how he/she feels. We give true love when we do a good deed for our sweetheart in those moments when we least feel like doing it, and we do it not out of fear but because we care.
Have you stopped watching television when your beloved enters the room and speaks to you? Even if you feel annoyed about the interruption of your favorite show (thank God for pause buttons, right?!), you turn toward your beloved, listen and engage in conversation — because you care. Has your sweetheart done a chore for you despite it being inconvenient, and then grumbled about it? The fact that he/she actually accepted the chore is what matters. It was done because of love, and this is more important than the whiney attitude.
In Matthew Chapter 5, Jesus defined love as walking an extra mile and doing more than what’s asked of us. He also told us to love our enemies, and since an enemy is anyone who opposes us, it includes those who are closest to us. Their opposition hurts more than when it comes from strangers. And yet, despite this pain, despite the unhappiness of battles with our beloved, we continue to care, we continue to go the extra distance, we continue to love, because the relationship is based on much more than warm affection.
- When have I recently shown love for my beloved while not feeling affectionate?
- What has my beloved done for me, which is good, during arguments or divisive troubles?
Strengthen your relationship:
Describe how it feels to go the extra mile for each other. Finish the discussion with a prayer asking the Holy Spirit to make you better at noticing opportunities to show caring for each other. Also ask God to strengthen your resolve to use those opportunities well.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries