When you face a problem, and if you don’t know how to fix it, what do you do with it? How do you talk to your beloved about it? Or do you avoid talking about it, because in the past, bringing it up only made it worse?
Every problem has a God-designed solution. To find it, we need to first agree, as a couple, on what the problem truly is. We might have different perspectives. We might even have different ideas on the cause of the problem, which is often where the solution needs to begin. So, we have to talk. In a safe environment. Without distractions. While holding hands or cuddling for reassurance.
Often, couples don’t work toward agreement about a problem because of a coping mechanism called denial. It’s frightening to acknowledge a problem if we don’t know what the solution is, so we deny the problem even while enduring the consequences of it. Fear tell us that speaking the problem out loud makes it more real, more likely to undermine our relationship. Fear says that our sweetheart won’t understand us. Fear says that there is no solution, because we can’t see it yet.
Fear is the enemy; the problem is not the enemy, nor is our sweetheart. Conquer the fear, together as a couple, and God’s solutions — or his guidance for the next step closer to the solution — will become clear.
Fear makes the worse-case scenario more likely to happen. Fear keeps us divided from our beloved. And fear blinds us to what God is already doing to help us.
Therefore, the first thing to talk to our sweetheart about is what we’re afraid of. When we start there, then we can pray as a couple, asking the Holy Spirit to show us the path to the remedy. It’s surprising how easily love conquers fear. And what happens next is always a blessing!
- What problem has been waiting for a solution? What is fear telling you about it?
- What might your sweetheart be afraid to talk to you about?
Strengthen your relationship:
Share with each other an example from the past when God led you to a way to fix a problem that had, at first, been too puzzling or too difficult. Then pray together asking the Holy Spirit to help you find God’s solutions for the problems you’re facing today.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries