Scripture says, “There is no fear in love, because perfect love conquers fear. If we are afraid … it means that we have not fully experienced God’s perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.” (1 John 4:18-19.) This is why the Vocation of Marriage is based on God’s Radical Love for us, and our ability to love our spouse for the rest of our lives is based on understanding God’s perfect love for us.
Think about how fear suppresses love if we let it control us. Our relationships with our beloveds are wonderful when fear is not interfering with our emotions, and they are made miserable when fear dictates how we handle stress.
We have many little fears that inflict subtle but real damage to our relationships. The fear that he’s going to be angry at me because I spent more money on a purchase than expected. The fear that she’s telling her girlfriends what a louse I am for disagreeing with her. The fear that dinner with the in-laws is not going to be very enjoyable.
And we have big fears. What if he dies? What if she loses interest in me? What if the reason he is coming home late is because he likes the job — or someone there — more than he likes me?
Jesus says, “Fear not!” Jesus who is the perfect love is ready and able to cast away fear and bring the two of you closer together in fearless love.
Think of FEAR as the initials for False Evidence Appearing Real. Although sometimes there is a real basis for a fear, signaling that something needs to be dealt with, there is almost always an untruth in it that makes us worry needlessly and instigates an unloving reaction. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth. Ask Jesus to reveal to you the loving truth that conquers the lie that fear has been telling you.
- What fear has bothered me today?
- How can my beloved help me overcome this fear?
Strengthen your relationship:
Pray together, asking the Holy Spirit to reveal the healing truth that counteracts the messages of a fear you named in the questions above. Then share with each other what you believe the Holy Spirit is telling you.
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© 2015 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries