We are all naturally inclined to want perfection. It’s the way God made us so that we’ll long for heaven where all life is perfect for all of eternity. It’s how God instills in us, while we’re still here on earth, a longing to be united to him, the only One who is the Perfect Lover, the Perfect Savior, the Perfect Father, the Perfect Friend and Guide.
Scripture tell us to “be perfect like your heavenly Father who is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). And so we want our sweetheart to be perfect, too.
However, in biblical language, “perfect” does not mean the absence of mistakes and faults. It means the fullness of love, the fullness of God. A perfect marriage is one in which both husband and wife turn to God for help and love and forgiveness and guidance whenever life’s imperfections interfere with joy. A perfect marriage depends on God’s radical love, not our own limited ability to love.
Expecting perfection from our sweetheart is idolatry. And when we get demanding in our desire to have a spouse who’s more perfect today than yesterday, it’s usually a defense mechanism designed to deflect the view away from our own imperfections.
To enjoy the perfect love that God intends for us, we need to become friendly with our own imperfections and embrace our sweetheart and all the good and the imperfect that is in him/her.
- What imperfections in me causes me to dislike myself? Do I know, truly know, that God loves me anyway?
- What imperfections in my sweetheart am I unwilling to accept? How can I find what I’m seeking by looking for it in God instead?
Strengthen your relationship:
Write a love letter that compassionately and patiently embraces your sweetheart’s imperfections without naming any specific faults. After exchanging and reading each other’s letter, pray together, thanking God for his perfect love and for giving you a wonderful sweetheart.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries