Jesus said, “Love your enemies” (Matt 5:44). Sometimes, it’s our sweetheart who’s the enemy, because an enemy is anyone who is opposed to us — opposed to our idea, our desire, or anything that causes disagreement. Vehement or mild, the battle should always result in a victory where both sides win. This is illogical, but in Christ it is possible.
Our goal is to make peace, but not at the cost of winning the battle and losing the joy of seeing our sweetheart respond joyfully. Nor do we want the kind of peace that comes from suppressing our own feelings and ideas for the sake of an artificial peace.
Prayer helps. Praying together helps more. And thinking logically (i.e., using the cortex of our brain rather than the amygdala where fight or flight responses originate) enables us to hear the guidance that comes from the Holy Spirit. The problem is, God’s solution to a problem isn’t always logical. And loving our sweetheart is often very illogical, because God’s ways are high above our ways.
So, the next step after praying and shushing our amygdala is to look for God’s way to restore peace and unity with our beloved. It might be the illogic of letting go of what we know is the right solution and trusting God to speak to our sweetheart while we remain silent. This is what the Virgin Mary did when Joseph decided to break up with her because she got pregnant.
Or God’s way might be for us to create an outside-the-box method for helping our beloved understand the problem differently. Like discussing it while hugging, or going to a park by the river to watch the display of colors in the sky as the sun sets, even though we don’t have time for it, or going on a retreat together with the intention of listening for God to provide new, helpful insights about our problem.
Or God’s way might be for us to go to Confession and receive his supernatural grace to admit that we were wrong.
Always, God’s way to peace is so illogical that both sides feel like winners.
- What have I done recently to or with my beloved that was illogical but loving?
- What has my sweetheart done for my sake that was illogical. How does that make me feel?
Strengthen your relationship:
Describe some examples of when God has been illogical in giving love or help or blessings when it’s not deserved. How do you feel about it? What does this tell you about resolving a problem or disagreement that you’re currently dealing with? Finish with a prayer asking the Holy Spirit to open your minds to recognize, accept and value God’s guidance that seems illogical.
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© 2018 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries
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