In conflict resolution, we often conclude, “That’s good enough, let’s move on”. We apologize to each other for flared tempers, but even though we’ve not reached a new discovery that produces real change, we’re happy for the peace of calming down. We move on.
But your relationship is worth more than that! And wouldn’t you agree that your sweetheart’s happiness is worth more than that?
What are you willing to invest in that greater value?
All marriages — even very good marriages — become better when time and effort are put into problem-solving at the root of conflicts and other sources of unhappiness. But digging deep is costly. It takes us out of our comfort zones. It increases the feeling of enmity between us, and because we don’t realize that this is a temporary mood, we’re afraid that the suffering will only worsen.
Digging down to the roots of problems often takes us back to childhood traumas and misunderstandings and other messages about life that were inflicted on us long before we met our sweetheart. Sometimes, inner healing is needed through professional therapy or a good spiritual counselor.
Marriage is worth doing everything that helps us let go of old baggage. Our joy and our beloved’s happiness are worth doing everything that brings healing. “Good enough” isn’t enough after all.
Jesus didn’t think that becoming a man to teach and to heal was good enough for us. He suffered horrible tortures and died to give us freedom to heal and be loved fully and give his love fully to our spouse and children. So, of course he wants to be your Investment Counselor.
- When I feel irritated at my sweetheart, what am I hoping for that goes beyond that issue, and beyond his or her flaws?
- When my sweetheart fails to give me the love, patience, and understanding that I need, what is he or she hoping for that’s bigger than me and older than our relationship?
Strengthen your relationship:
Pray together, thanking Jesus for how much he cares about both of you and your relationship. Then ask his Holy Spirit to guide you into greater understanding of how to help each other reach new levels of joy. What ideas come to mind as you pray about this?
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© 2016 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries