Do you ever wonder if your beloved speaks unkindly about you to others? This suspicion is rooted in our own tendency to complain about our beloved. Or about anyone. It’s the effect that gossip has on a marriage.
Pope Francis has said (September 04, 2015): “What is gossip? [We might think,] Oh it’s nothing — just saying words against another person or telling tales: ‘This person did…’ No! Gossiping is like terrorism because the person who gossips is like a terrorist who throws a bomb and runs away, destroying: with their tongue they are destroying and not making peace. But this person is cunning, right? He is not a suicide bomber, no, no, he takes good care of himself.”
If we gossip about anyone, throwing word bombs, our sweethearts have to wonder if we’d also bomb them, because they know all too well how imperfect they are. They know they have given us ammunition.
Pope Francis has advice on how to remedy the problem: Bite your tongue! “Every day that I get the urge to say something that sows discord and division, to say bad things about another person… Bite your tongue! I can assure you. If you do this and bite your tongue instead of sowing discord, the first few times the wound will cause your tongue to swell — because the devil helps us do this because that’s his work, his job: to divide.”
Gossip sows division in marriage. If we’re speaking about others it sows distrust. If we’re speaking to others about our beloved, it hurts him/her, even if he/she doesn’t know what you’ve said.
Pope Francis prescribed this prayer: “Lord, you gave your life, give me the grace to bring peace and reconciliation. You shed your blood, [so] what does it matter to me if my tongue gets swollen if I bite it before speaking badly about other people.” Since Jesus died for our sins, the least we can do is die for our spouse a little bit by biting our tongue when we have an urge to speak unkindly.
- How often and easily do I gossip?
- Do I ever wonder if my sweetheart is gossiping about me? Why?
Strengthen your relationship:
Sometimes we do have to talk about someone who’s causing a problem. Define what is an appropriate and holy way to do it. How can it be handled without gossiping and bad-mouthing? Next, pray together for the grace to be trustworthy in building each other up around others and to be messengers of peace when there seems to be a reason to speak unkindly about anyone.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries