Worldly influences have nurtured our natural tendency to become control freaks. Well okay, maybe we’re humble enough through Christ to not be freakish about it — or are we? My point is: It’s normal to prefer to be in control. It’s been a matter of survival since our earliest ancestors. The better we control our environment, the less likely we’ll be eaten by a sabre-tooth tiger.
It’s not surprising, then, that when our sweetheart doesn’t cooperate with our desires and expectations, we treat him/her like a sabre-tooth tiger.
The truth is, wanting to have control is always disappointing. Our efforts to plan and implement the details of anything is never successful enough. We’re never in control. We can’t even completely control our own thoughts nor our reactions, and these are what we most need to gain control over. Learning to control ourselves — and only ourselves — is the key to holiness and happiness.
God alone is capable of being in control of everything, and he chooses to give up control over us. He prefers to allow us the freedom to love him or ignore him, to obey him or make up our own rules. This is the perfect image of love: By holding back any and all control over us, God gives us the opportunity to partner with him in our decisions, our dreams for the future, the creation of children, and how we use the gifts and talents that he’s given us.
When we are humble enough to ask him to take control, all he does is influence us.
And that’s the love he wants us to imitate with our sweetheart. With the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and inspiration, we can lovingly influence our beloved. This is a strategy, a three-way partnership which requires time and continual effort. Meanwhile, we work at controlling our own impatience with the process.
- What seems so out of control today that my mood is affected by it?
- What can I do to improve how I handle this?
Strengthen your relationship:
Name a situation or problem that you both wish could be controlled for the sake of producing a desired outcome. Pray together, asking the Holy Spirit to fill both of you with creative ideas, new insights and divine inspirations that will bring you peace and, in his perfect timing, make a difference in that situation. Ask God to be in charge of the timing. Ask Jesus to redeem what is bad and turn it into a blessing.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries
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