We all have expectations about our sweethearts. Too often, they lead to disappointment and hurt. They could, however, become sources of hope and support.
The first question to ask ourselves is one of self-awareness: When I’m feeling irritated about my beloved, what underlying expectation is causing disappointment?
When we identify the answer to that, the next question is: Does this expectation bless my beloved or cause him/her angst?
After that, consider the following principles, looking for ways to bless your beloved:
- Lower the expectations that say there’s an easy way out of a problem.
- Raise your expectations for what you can contribute to solve the problem.
- Lower your expectations for how effective it is to find quick solutions.
- Raise your expectations about what can be accomplished from an in-depth conversation.
- Lower your expectations about how anger can help you instigate changes.
- Raise your expectations for how daily effort can transform a problem into real progress.
- Lower your expectations of making improvements by your own efforts.
- Raise your expectations of what the Holy Spirit can do.
We bless our sweethearts when we accept our own responsibility in raising and lowering our expectations before attempting to deal with conflicts, disappointments, hopes and goals. Especially when our sweetheart is at the center of the conflicts, disappointments, hopes and goals.
When we control our expectations instead letting them control us, we become empowered to make a difference that both we and our beloveds can enjoy.
- Thinking of something that has recently irritated me about my beloved, what expectations do I have about it?
- What does my sweetheart expect of me that I’ve not liked? Why don’t I like it?
Strengthen your relationship:
Each of you write a list of your expectations. They don’t all have to be about each other. For the rest of this week, get together once a day to discuss them, one at a time. Begin each discussion by praying together to ask for the Holy Spirit’s help in understanding the expectations and putting them into right perspective. End with a prayer of empowerment, i.e., a commitment made to Jesus based on the blessings you’d like to see as a result of the discussion, coupled with reliance on the Holy Spirit to help you make it happen.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries