How to avoid growing apart

What do you think might be the devil’s favorite tool? Consider the wedge. With the wedge, he can sneak division into any relationship.

wedges cause division in marriageInitially, only the wedge’s thin tip is driven between spouses (or any two people). For example: a disagreement that remains unresolved. Although the issue might seem minor and forgiveness is easily given, if the couple gives room for the wedge to remain, the devil pushes it in a little deeper.

Over time, it slips in deeper, widening the gap, driving the couple further and further apart. 

Doubt is the name of the wedge. It’s a powerful tool, because it’s subtle. It eats away at the relationship. It consumes self-esteem. It deteriorates communication. It destroys trust. 

Doubt brings in fear, gradually rotting the truth and replacing it with cancerous what-ifs, jealousies, insecurities and self-protection. And unless something is done to pull the wedge out (the deeper it’s in, the more painful its extraction) and provide healing, divorce is the natural conclusion. 

The good news is: It never needs to escalate to such an end. Even long-enduring, fully embedded wedges can be extracted by two determined people who are both humble enough and committed enough to proceed into healing. With the help of Christ the Healer, and the Holy Spirit as Guide and Teacher, wedges can be dissolved by love.

Of course, the earlier a wedge is identified, the easier it is to extract, like a tiny splinter. What do you think might be Christ’s favorite tool for marriages? Tweezers. One prong of this splinter-extracting tool is named Communication. The other is Determination — the couple’s mutual determination to resolve problems, find compromises that respect the desires of both sweethearts, and forgive.

Reflection Questions:

  1. Is there a wedge between me and my beloved — on any topic or issue? What has been coming between us?
  2. What can I do to improve communication? How might I bend my will toward my beloved’s desires without harming myself (and the children)? Have I given my beloved forgiveness yet?

Strengthen your relationship:
Share with each other the ideas that resulted from the reflection questions above. Then pray together, asking the Holy Spirit to increase in you the gift of recognizing wedges before they become major problems. Give Jesus any wedges that currently exist, asking him to redeem them into a stronger, closer relationship.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
© 2018 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries

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