Love cannot be obtained

Pope Francis has spoken of those who find themselves face to face with loneliness, “in the bitter twilight of broken dreams and plans: how many persons drag their days in the blind alley of resignation, of abandonment, if not of rancor; in how many homes the wine of joy has failed and, therefore, the flavour – the wisdom itself – of life.” (October 05, 2014, at the 6pm Saturday evening Prayer Vigil in Saint Peter’s Square)

“The earth is filled with your love, Oh God; teach me your decrees” (Psalm 119:64).

Pope FrancisLove. We tend to think of love as something to obtain. As such, it’s also something we can lose. Therefore, we fail to realize how faithfully, permanently, and unconditionally God loves us.

We think of romantic love as falling in love, which is a clichéd way of saying that we’re obtaining a love relationship. Thus, we think of spousal love as maintaining the love we found during the premarital relationship. And when love gets lost in the earthquake of hardships – which happens in every marriage – we think the relationship is ending and we need to escape from the torture of remaining with someone who doesn’t love as they should.

But love isn’t something we can obtain or maintain or lose. Love simply “is”. God is love. God is not something we can obtain. We already have God, even when we don’t believe in God. God already exists, never had a beginning, never can die. God is the “I Am”. God is with us even when we don’t want to be with him. God’s love is with us even when we don’t deserve it. Because: It’s impossible for God to cease being God and for love to cease being loving.

In marriage (and every other type of relationship), we can’t obtain or lose love. What we can do, however, is choose to live in what already exists – even when the feeling of being loved is missing. Or we can choose to ignore its existence and to claim that it’s gone, thus justifying our desire to escape from the pain of feeling unloved.

Marriages that survive hardships are based on the reality that love is permanently present, even when we cannot feel it, because God is love and God is with us and it’s impossible for God to be otherwise.

Reflection Questions:

  1. When your relationship with your sweetheart began, what was your definition of romantic love?
  2. In what ways have you felt disappointed as a result of this definition?

Strengthen your relationship:
Share with your beloved the definition of romantic love that you have now. Then pray together asking God to help you to always be aware of his love’s presence in your relationship.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
© 2014 by Terry Modica
Good News Ministries

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