What do you need in order to be happier with your beloved?
We all wish things could be better, but how we handle it depends on what we are really seeking. And what we are really seeking is God.
The better question, therefore, is: Are you wanting (albeit unconsciously) your sweetheart to be God? And since he/she is not God, are you seeking out the imperfect to justify a reason to feel unhappy?
Every spouse and any dating couple who spends much time with each other finds reasons to be dissatisfied – every day. That’s why Jesus insists, “Love your enemy and do good to those who prevent you from having a really good day.”
The difference between a marriage that succeeds and a marriage that fails – and a good day versus a bad day – depends on how well we handle the imperfections of the relationship. How happy we are with our spouse is not the real issue. Rather, it’s how well we accept our personal responsibility for being happy. Our spouses do not control our happiness level. We do. We decide how to react to imperfections. We choose whether to seek reasons to be unhappy or reasons to be happy. Where is your focus?
There will always be reasons to feel unhappy. And there will always be reasons to feel happy. Sometimes we go through long stretches when there are more reasons to feel unhappy than happy. But all the reasons to be unhappy will never outweigh the blessings that God provides when we choose to love and do good despite how we feel.
One day, I was so angry at my husband, Ralph, that I surprised him with his favorite food for lunch: a fried egg sandwich. Many years later, we cannot remember what we were fighting about, but we both still remember that fried egg sandwich. Ralph’s anger melted when I handed him the plate and he saw the butter oozing and he smelled the hot egg on the warm bread. My anger melted when I saw Ralph’s smile.
- Do I spend more time complaining than talking about the good things that have happened?
- How does this affect my beloved?
Strengthen your relationship:
Give each other a list of what your beloved has done recently that has pleased you. Then pray together, thanking God for the gift that he has given you in each other. Also ask God to be the Lord of your lives, because he is the only one who can fully satisfy.
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© 2016 by Terry Modica
Good News Ministries