Think for a minute — just a minute — about what your beloved one does that is irritating.
Next, think for two minutes — or more — about your beloved’s endearing qualities.
How much perfection do you expect from him or her? Marriages are not based on how perfect someone is. Rather, they are based on giving love despite imperfections while appreciating what is good.
Imperfections are a normal part of life on this earth. However, we instinctively seek and desire perfection because we were made for heaven. Life on earth is a very short time compared to eternity in heaven. And while we’re still here, God wants us to prepare for heaven by learning to love within the hardships of imperfections.
This is why forgiveness is one of the keys for a successful relationship.
Irritations are opportunities to work together on improving ourselves and helping our beloved grow closer to God. But this can only be achieved by first forgiving, letting go of impatience (and asking forgiveness for getting impatient from expecting perfection), and remembering that our beloved has many endearing qualities.
It’s not always easy. That’s because we’re not perfect. Work harder on improving yourself than you do on trying to improve your sweetheart. But be patient and forgiving with yourself. Remember, you, too, have many endearing qualities!
The more we like who we are, through self-improvement and self-forgiveness, the easier it is to like our spouses amidst their need to improve and to be forgiven.
- Name your beloved’s endearing qualities.
- How does focusing on these qualities enhance your relationship?
Strengthen your relationship:
Write on a small piece of paper two or three reasons why you should ask your beloved to forgive you. Fold it up. Give it to him/her. He/she reads it silently and then folds it back up again. Place all the papers in an ash tray or bowl, then together burn the papers and say to each other: “I forgive you.” Afterward, pray for each other, telling the Lord why the other is a blessing.
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© 2016 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries