The worst part of Christmas preparations is trying to find that special gift for that special someone who answers the question, “What do you want for Christmas?” with a shrug.
Looking for ideas, I’ve discovered that hidden away in junk mail catalogs are some unusual gifts that are sure to make my special someone stare at me and ask if I enjoyed my stay in the psychiatric ward. For example, the following gifts really existed when I first wrote this article in 1988. They cannot be purchased today, but I’m sure you can find things that are equally special.
A very practical gift is the Tie Shield. For the low, low price of just $12, you could buy a “fashionable” polka dot plastic tie, visible from anywhere within a mile, which your loved one would clip to his real tie. Very valuable for any success-driven businessman. Prior to eating with important clients, he pulled the Tie Shield down over his real tie like a window shade. Then, when finished spilling his gravy and potatoes upon himself, he rolled the Tie Shield back up — and splatters the food particles all over his suit.
Another helpful gift is the Sock Organizer — the perfect solution for gift buyers who are especially desperate. The Sock Organizer is 12 compartments that easily assemble to fit any dresser drawer. It’s the perfect gift for those who can’t see that they’re wearing one plain sock and a striped one. The compartments come with labels so your special someone can know for certain that what he’s putting on his feet, for example, are not boxer shorts. The labels can also indicate which ones are the smelly gym socks or the socks with one hole as opposed to the socks with two holes. A label could also read: Missing Socks.
For the executive who likes to put his feet up on the desk — with or without socks — but doesn’t want to give clients the wrong impression, there’s the Foot Coaster — a foam cushion that prevents unsightly scuff marks.
A gift for your obnoxious special someone is the bicycle bell specially designed to attach to a beer or coffee mug, so that whenever he (or she) is ready for a refill, he can ring the bell. And ring it and ring it. Until finally someone communicates to him that he’d better silence that bell, using words such as, “Here, take my coffee — in your lap.”
Just think. If Christmas were not so commercialized, how would we find out that such interesting gifts were available? And how would we understand the Wise Men who gave gifts to the Holy Infant on Epiphany Sunday? It takes a lot of wise thinking to shop for Christmas gifts.
I heard of a family who had so little wisdom, they decided not to buy presents for each other. Instead, they took old items from around the house, redecorated them and gave them back to the same people as gifts. They also took time to hand-make new gifts.
No one bought for the father, who played golf, any of the many items available for golfers, such as the Golf Ball Cleaner that looks like an oversized golf ball which opens to expose a wet sponge that cleans the dirty balls which are about to be putted back into dirt.
That family told me it was the most joy-filled Christmas they ever had.
Reflection question for family discussion:
What is the most unusual gift you ever received? And what is the most important gift you ever received? Why was it important to you?
Dear Jesus, You are the most valuable gift we have ever received. Help us to know what kind of gift You would like to receive from us this year.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries