We can only love in the now, but we plan for the long view or else we damage our future.
In the now — the short view of our relationship with our sweetheart — hugs are a good way to feel reassured that we are still loved, appreciated, and comforted. For the sake of the long view, a hug isn’t enough. We need words and actions that prove the sincerity of our sweetheart’s words.
In the now, by ignoring a disagreement because we reached an impasse, we restore peace between us. For the long view, we use this peace to cool down and to pray, and then we face the challenge of resolving the disagreement before it has time to fester like cancer in the soul of the relationship.
In the now, we take for granted the commitment we both have for a permanent marriage. For the long view, we build trust through our daily actions, attitudes, and faithfulness.
In the now, we spend time with any friends and relatives who invite us. For the long view, we surround ourselves with people who are faith-filled, couples who are committed to their marriage, and those who build us up rather than tear us down. We limit our exposure to unhealthy relationships and bad influences.
In the now, decisions feel urgent and we react to visible circumstances. For the long view, we pray about decisions, because God sees what we cannot yet see. We analyze the options with our beloved, and we consult with those who are more experienced or knowledgeable.
In the now, we give our attention to emergencies and urgencies. For the long view, we slow down to spend time with our beloved, doing what’s valuable to the relationship.
What we do in the now is important. What we do for the sake of a good future with our beloved — this is what gives the greatest value to the present.
- What am I doing today that benefits the future of my relationship with my sweetheart?
- How is my beloved building a good future for us?
Strengthen your relationship:
Discuss a recent decision that is obviously important, such as a job change, children, or where to go on vacation. How does it benefit your future as a couple? Is there a change you can make now that will increase how it benefits your relationship? Pray together, asking the Holy Spirit to help you figure out how this decision and future decisions can be reshaped to enhance your relationship.
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© 2018 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries
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