We long for perfection but we all bring imperfections into our relationships. We start by wearing masks, an image of what we want the other person to see in us so they will think highly of us. And we bring out the best in each other. But once we’ve been together long enough to get real, we bring out the worst in each other, too.
Imperfections, however, are not something to fear. They are opportunities to turn to God and grow in holiness by letting him be strong in our weaknesses.
“With peace of mind, with calm serenity, we ought… to abide in the midst of our imperfections and feebleness until God exalts us to the practice of more excellent virtues” (St. Jane Frances de Chantal).
Some imperfections are sins, and some are merely the shortcomings of being human. Sins don’t mean that we are a terrible person; rather, they are opportunities for Jesus to give us more help from his Holy Spirit. Shortcomings don’t mean that we are unlovable; rather, they are gaps in our abilities, which are opportunities for Jesus to complement our lives with the abilities of our sweetheart.
As couples who are united in helping each other, we become a more perfect reflection of God’s perfection. And where our coupleness is flawed (because two people at their best still do not equal perfection), this is where Christ’s presence in the relationship fills in all the gaps. This is the power of the Sacrament of Marriage. The best marriage is one in which both husband and wife rely on Jesus.
- What is my sweetheart better at doing than I am?
- Which imperfections in my sweetheart can I make up for by using an ability that I have, instead of complaining about it?
Strengthen your relationship:
Discuss how relying on Jesus can perfect the image of marriage that’s seen by those around you. For example, during times of frustration, do others know that you pray together to get through it? Do others see joy in you when you’re together? Finish this reflection by asking Jesus to fill in the gaps that remain in your imperfect union and to fill you with his Holy Spirit.
P.S. Please remember that this ministry cannot continue without support. See “How to be a champion of love.” I’ve had to reduce the number of Reflections for Couples while I’m taking time to fund-raise. Please help us reach the necessary goal of $33,000 sooner than later.
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© 2017 by Terry Modica of Good News Ministries
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